Hey everybody.
Don't really have a reason for the title or address of this blog, just couldn't think of anything. Yesterday I flew back in from Asia to Sydney and the flight...horrible.
Sydney is a disappointment when it comes to being a big city... a poor big city... on the way back I kept telling myself how much I didn't want to come back. Didn't know whether it was menopause or Sydney was really just that bad.
I could possibly give up everything...just to get out of here. For the month that I was gone, it was magic, wonders, just amazing... I can't share the pics... there's too much.
Recently I've also been thnking, Ah Damn, i should take care of my mother and aunt and uncle when they're old. Perhaps I hate sydney to that extend that I would perhaps rather take care of old folks then live here. It never crossed my mind. I should really stop sleeping so late...
Uni, school whatever you like to call it. I dun have much patience and brains to be like everyone else... I just nearly glide through... perhaps school isnt for me.... Then again i really need a degree... I really need something... I want to get that big house for my aunt and uncle to live in. Another for my mother...I just need to be something.... but really so does everybody else. Unless then again...yu know, being a good for nothing kid still living at home is your kind of thing. If that's you then umm good luck.
I live in a home that's not really my home. In fact... i live everywhere...depending on the time of the year. I hate summer, I run away when it's summer. New York, Hongkong, anywhere that's cold in December...but I don't really have a home... doesn't feel like one... what's it like....
I feel that life's really empty right now. Don't know why I have to publish this on blogger. Could have just wrote this on notepad or something. I have a hole in my heart, in my chest... i think some where deep down I dread for someone to love and care for me like a family. Instead...there are awkward silences where I live because I can't small talk with my family. Does it happen to you? Or is it just me... I wanna get out, go see the world...should I do it alone...? I don't want to be some one possessive... I just want someone there...always but I don't think I can do that... simply because in reality I'm not shatter-able..I need to do well in uni, get rich, make sure everybody I love lives happilyyy.. the end.
until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment